A new year New Life
 Yeah ALOT has gone on since i last posted on here. Well lets see i gained 30 pounds BLEH, but that's because i have a beautiful little daughter now. Her name is Fiona Grace, and she'll be 10 weeks this weekend wow! I'm turning 23 very very soon omg i can't believe that yikes! I still have terrible self-esteem, I don't cut anymore although i always feel the urge to when i get upset, and i've taken up scrap booking. I hate that my house is a mess, I hate that i can't see my clavicals, and i am dying to get to my goal weight. I need control in my life because i feel its spiraling out of control. My daughter is what keeps me going, my husband still has his porn addiction and it kills me. I'm tired of not trusting him. I want to believe i'm beautiful and when i'm 99 pounds i will be. 

Yay for me!
 so today i burned 800 cals at the gym psha! i wonder how this works, if i only eat 500 calories but i burn 800 does that mean that i really don't have the calories? hmmm. gonna look that up on line. i wish i had someone who could join me on this adventure :(

The beginning
 Yes it's time for me to really take control of my life. All of my life I've been over weight, unbeautiful and gross. It's time for a change.  Measurements:
waist: 35 inches ---- most girls hips MEH!
Hips: 43 inches--- ahhh
weight 180------ ahhhhhhh!

I need to find support. that is all. 


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